The Male Experience At Howard’s Homecoming

It’s damn near October, which means it’s Homecoming season, and my alma mater is as famous for its Homecoming as it is for its academic merits. The homie Angry Stan dropped this guest blog over at The Gray Way. Pretty much sums everything up….and I think that’s one of my pictures. I’ve taken so many over the years that I don’t remember…..

Leggings Are a God Send: Women will grace the annual “Yardfest”—an outstretched Friday concert that’s notoriously showcased arriving Hip Hop & R&B talents, while fusing in more old school soul acts and international stars of late—with these on. They’re so endearing to men that the autumn and winter chill has become something to look forward to for “Legging Season.” This article of clothing accentuates the lower body and put’s the camel toe on full display. Just stop—If on Howard University’s main quad, or just walking through breezy city streets. Stop and observe the ravenous look that overcomes men as voluptuous, legging-clad women walk by. The box protrudes out, resembling ripe fruit ready to be picked and, *Drools*… excuse me, my imagination runs wild. Let’s just say they provide quite the exhibit. Word of warning to the ladies, though: Not all women are worthy of this magical fabric. I highly recommend women shaped like Cool Ranch Dorito bags leave their leggings in the closet.

So. Many. Choices.: In undergrad, I didn’t realize how fortunate I was to be surrounded by so many shades of the beautiful Black woman. I guess you can say, I took it for granted. College places thousands of women in one concentrated area. We studied with them, shared dorms with them, and we partied with them. We’ll never get that experience back. When I return to my school’s homecoming, I tell myself, “these young niggas don’t know how good they got it…”

The Numbers Game: Fellas, in your quest for the royal weekend box, you must possess a sense of urgency when approaching potential prospects. This method is not for the timid or faint of heart, and you must be susceptible to rejection. You only have five days and four nights in town (at the most), so the more honey’s you bag, the better. This large assemblage-of-tenders method obviously gives you more options, and betters your chances of achieving your ultimate goal. Drake may lack facial hair, and he just might have fallopian tubes, but he makes a valid point when he says “maybe she won’t, but then again, maybe she will…” What do you have to lose? She may be beautiful, but she’s human. Don’t put her box on an imaginary pedestal. Happy hunting gentlemen, I promise you that your valiant effort will not go in vain.

Drink in Moderation: You ever wake up from a drunken stupor, only to find missed calls and texts from that chick you bagged at the Homecoming party? The in-town-for-the-weekend box was yours for the taking, but you combined your rent money with 24 other people’s to drank 1.5 ounces of Ace of Spades, Patrón tequila shots, and six rounds of Jack Daniels and Coke. Combine that with the fact that you didn’t eat since 11 AM and the crazed believing that you’re 20-years-old again…… and now look at you. You’ve been throwing up in that trash can next to the bed all night, and you’ve vowed to our heavenly father that you won’t ever drink again. All of which are blasphemous lies. That was only Thursday night, and you still have yet to embark on the rest of this wasted-driven weekend. So eat some McDonald’s breakfast, down those extra strength Excedrin tablets, and let the debauchery commence for the duration.

I’m co-signging each one of Stan’s points, and to build on what he said about there being so many choices: you will never see everyone at Homecoming. It’s just impossible, there’s just too way much going on. Your best bet is to mill around the yard during Yardfest or after the Football game, or find a post-up spot and try to catch people as they pass by. My advice for Homecoming is to play smart, but play to win.

Leave it all on the field.

Link: Guest Blog: The Male Experience At Howard’s Homecoming


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